Monday, 22 July 2013

David Cameron. David Censorship. David Coward.

David Cameron announced plans today that will see six of the biggest internet service providers (ISP) block access to online pornography. According to this BBC report which I read after seeing the same report broadcast on BBC News, 95% of UK internet users will be affected by the block unless they "opt-out" of a "family filter" set up by each ISP. Additionally, Cameron will make the "possession" of online pornography depicting rape illegal and will be asking the internet's biggest search engines to bring up blank results when paedophilic search terms are entered.

David Cameron, you are a coward, a fool and a hypocrite.

I live in a country where the poor are becoming poorer every day due to the actions of the cowardly upper class who tremble at the thought of investing their "hard earned" money in expanding business and creating jobs. I live in a country where the jobless are vilified beyond compare and made to believe that their inability to contribute to the economy is their own doing -- that this is somehow all their fault. I live in a country where the very first vote I made on a general election candidate was wasted due to the drowning of cowardly yellow in a corrupt sea of blue.

David Cameron looks down his nose from his ivory tower and sees the societal pestilence of online pornography. Shielding the eyes of his children, Cameron concludes that parents, child minders and internet users in general are not responsible enough or intelligent enough to keep the filthy works of pornography and the heinous acts of rape and paedophilia it spawns away from the purity and innocence of Britain's children. Cameron decides to make the problem go away -- out of sight, out of mind -- and dupe a large proportion of Britain's internet users into accepting this government's upcoming censorship plans.

David Cameron and his crumbly old centre-right pals don't watch pornography online, they're far too busy creating nuclear families, therefore they don't think anyone should be watching online pornography. The Conservative Party are better than you, they're at the top of the food chain, and you will accept their pornography ban because otherwise that makes you a very bad person. In fact, David Cameron would be inclined to think that you, the pornography watcher, may even be a paedophile, waiting to strike. 

You're not a paedophile, are you?

I've watched pornography, you've watched pornography, most men and women in civilised society and beyond have enjoyed pornography to some extent. But now, because Cameron has seen the previously invisible link between legal pornography and child abuse, all users of the internet will be tarred with the same brush. All those people who have and may chose to watch online pornography are now in the wrong. They are directly responsible for "corroding" the pure minds of British children. Do the right thing and accept the censorship without question, because there's really only one question now.

You're not a paedophile, are you?

David Cameron cares about the children of Britain. He cares so much that he's allowed major cuts and caps to be made to the benefits claimed by the poor. He's allowed for families to go hungry and for others to be too poor to pay their council tax. The great and benevolent David Cameron cares so much about Britain's children that he has allowed approximately a third of all children in the United Kingdom to live in continual states of poverty. 

According to UK charity Bernardo's, 58% of these 3.6 million children live in a family where at least one member of that family works. The End Child Poverty campaign's estimates are even higher, totalling a whopping 4 million children in poverty nationwide. This makes David Cameron's UK one of the leading countries in the industrialised world in terms of child poverty figures. 

But don't listen to those scaremongering children campaigners, listen to the government's excellent Department of Work and Pensions who are adamant that the amount of children living in states of poverty are as low as 17% -- roughly one in six. Iain Duncan Smith is particularly happy with these figures stating "We have successfully protected the poorest from falling behind and seen a reduction of 100,000 children in workless poor families,". Good for you Iain. Good for you David. That's 100,000 more children that may, if they're lucky, have parents who are able to afford an internet connection, therefore making your plans to block pornography worth all the effort.

Thanks to the combined efforts of the British government -- who are and have never been comprised of paedophiles -- children across the country will never be exposed to the ghastly horrors of sex ever again. These same children will be free to enjoy their favourite sex laden music videos, sex scene imbued television programmes and their favourite "page three girls" in pure, innocent peace.

To adapt a quote from the late Bill Hicks: Go back to bed Britain, David Cameron has the internet under control. You're free to do what he tells you.


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